RE: Quote My Ref No.

> From: info@yahoo.co.uk
> Subject: Quote My Ref No.
> Date: Sat, 18 Aug 2012 05:47:27 -0700
> To:
>
> My name is Pamela Rogers, I am going on a cancer surgery today, I have left you 11,500,000.00 British pounds to do good deeds for the work of the
> Lord.Contact my solicitor quoting my ref no. CLY/011/RZZ/7350/5582/100SF/UK for further info. Barr. Lee Malcolm. barr.lee.malc@armenian.me.uk
> Sincerely,
> Mrs. Pamela Rogers

-->

 Mr. Malcom,

Greetings and fond wishes to you. May a warm sandwich find it's way into your mouth on this fine day.

My lady friend Pamela Rogers told me to contact you for more info about all her money. Here is the necessary reference number: CLY/011/RZZ/7350/5582/100SF/UK. As you know, she is having cancer surgery - I very much hope that the surgery is successful. Please let me know if you have heard any news.

If the worst has happened, and she's dead, then I will bravely spend all of her money. I will do good works with it - like helping fat people to be less fat and stuff. I'll probably buy a lot of puppies too. People love puppies. I'm sure you love puppies as well.

Anyways, lets get this business done as soon as possible. May your arrangements be made as swiftly as a fat child on a water slide,

Fondest wishes,

Donald P. Bellows

RE: HELLO

> From: markrobinson2009@hotmail.com
> Subject: HELLO
> Date: Wed, 1 Jun 2011 01:04:02 -0300
>
> HELLO
>
> I AM REALLY SORRY FOR NOT CONTACTING YOU FOR A VERY LONG TIME.I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SEEKING FOR A BETTER WAY FOR THE DIAMOND DIPLOMATIC FINANCE PLC,TO TRANSFER YOUR FUNDS IN THE AMOUNT OF $1,000,000 USD WITHOUT ANY MORE TROUBLES.
>
> NOW, THEY AGREED TO USE THEIR DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY SERVICES TO CARGO YOUR FUNDS TO YOU IN CASH AND MAKE THE DELIVERY TO YOUR HOUSE BY HAND TO HAND DELIVERY.
>
> NOW,I WILL WANT YOU TO WRITE TO THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF THE DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY SERVICES AND ASK HIM THAT YOU WANT TO USE THEIR SERVICES TO DELIVER YOUR FUNDS TO YOU AS INSTRUCTED BY THEIR SISTER COMPANY (DIAMOND DIPLOMATIC FINANCE PLC,) AND ALSO YOU ARE TO FILL OUT YOUR INFORMATION AND SEND IT TO THEM FOR IMMEDIATE ACTION ON YOUR DELIVERY OF YOUR FUND.
>
> 1, Your Full name..........
>
> 2, Delivery address........
>
> 3, Phone number...........
>
> 4, Fax number.............
>
> 5, Email address...........
>
> NAME OF THE MANAGER INCHARGE: (MR JONES ROBINSON)
>
> CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS:(diamonddiplomaticfinanceplc200@gmail.com)
>
> PHONE NUMBER (+234 .81256.436.31)
>
> PLEASE DO NOT FAIL TO CONTACT THE DIPLOMATIC COMPANY AND SEND THEM YOUR CORRENT ADDRESS SO THEIR WILL NOT MAKE A WRONG DELIVERY TO YOUR DOOR STEP OK. PLEASE ALSO CALL THEM AND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN NEED OF YOUR FUND AS URGENT ON DELIVERY TO YOUR DOOR STEP OK.
>
> I WAIT FOR YOUR REPLY AFTER CONTACTING Mr. JONES ROBINSON.
>
> THANKS AND GOD BLESS,
> YOURS SINCERELY.
> BARRISTER NICULAS JAMES.

 Sent: Sunday, July 24, 2011 3:53 PM
To: diamonddiplomaticfinanceplc200@gmail.com
Subject: RE: HELLO

Yo, Mr. Jones Robinson,

What up? My main man Barrister Niculas James told me you've got a million dollars for me.

At first I wasn't sure if he was serious, but then when I saw he used all capital letters in his email I knew he was all business. That's one of the reasons I like Barrister Niculas James - he's a straight shooter. I also like him because he says I'm getting a million dollars.

Now, on to the detail of getting my funds. I feel that my personal information is too sensitive for me to give you over email. Instead, I will write it down on a piece of paper and have my falcon carry it to you. Do you live within falcon distance of Kansas City? If not, we may need to use multiple falcons. Please let me know.

Also, my falcon's name is Benjamin and he has beautiful blue eyes. Thanks to a birth defect, he also has three legs. This should allow you to make sure you are receiving information from the correct falcon. If a three legged falcon delivers my address, but then when you say "Hey Benjamin", he doesn't turn a look at you - immediately light that bird on fire and continue waiting for the real Benjamin.

Please let me know if there would be a better method of giving you my information. I am hoping to get my million dollars soon, because the million dollars I already have is getting lonely. I plan on putting the two million dollars together and hopefully they will mate and make cash-babies.... I am of course joking Jonesy. Money can't make babies.

Once I get my one million dollars, I plan on surrounding myself with many beautiful women, cars, and pies of every flavor imaginable... did you just imagine a pie flavor?, because if you did I will have it.

May your falcon soar as high as the tallest rainbow,

Douglas Bellows

RE: In urgent need of your assistance

Subject: In urgent need of your assistance
Date: Tue, 31 May 2011 09:01:41 +1000
From: jenny-ann.toribio@sydneu.auTo:

I am Mrs. Mary Abery, a devoted Christian. I am in the process of setting up a charity foundation but due to my health condition I would need somebody to help me finish it. Please reply to my Private email address: abery_m@rogers.com for more details.

Remain Blessed
Mrs. Mary Abery

  

Sent: Thursday, July 07, 2011 4:44 PM
To: abery_m@rogers.com
Subject: re: In urgent need of your assistance

Mrs. Abery,

I would love to help you set up a charity. I have an idea  about what kind of charity we could make.

First of all, I am tired of seeing homeless people around. I think we should try to solve this problem. It seems like it would be hard to actually give them all homes - so I think we could "eliminate" the homeless in another way. We could kill all of them - and turn them into a high-protein stew of some kind. We could use the stew to feed any remaining homeless people that we we're unable to catch - or perhaps sell it as a high end dog food.

I know what you're thinking - how will we round up all the homeless? We can rent a bus, and we'll put a pile of quarters and booze - and if it's the Christmas season, candy canes - inside it. When the hobos hear it rattling down the street, and smell the sweet, sweet liquor inside, they will immediately get on board. I know it will be costly to make a large pile of quarters, but we can put quarters on top, and then nickels underneath. They won't catch on, because they are too tired from being homeless.

I will construct a giant machine to convert the hobo meat into a stew, so you don't have to worry about it.  It will be made mostly of legos.

I know its a bold plan - so if you have any better suggestions, let me know. I will go to the laundromat and start converting my money into quarters now to save time for later.

Please stay healthy long enough for the sweet smell of hobo meat to fill your nostrils,

Douglas

RE: Terrible Vacation............

From: Jonathan Lung [mailto:jonathanlung@sbclkglobal.net]

To: Doug Bellows
Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 7:50 AM
Subject: Terrible Vacation.................Jonathan Lung

Hi,   Just writing to let you know our trip to London, England has been a mess. We were having a great time until last night when we got mugged and lost all my cash,credit card cell phone.It has been a scary experience, I was hit at the back of my neck with a club. Anyway,I'm still alive and that's what's important. I'm financially strapped right now and need your help, i need you to loan me some money, I'll refund it to you as soon as we arrive home.Write me back so i can tell you how to get it to me. Jonathan Lung

 

Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 9:38 AM
To: jonathanlung@sbclkglobal.net
Subject: RE: Terrible Vacation.................Jonathan Lung

Jonathan,

Thank you for sharing your tragic tale - it was a good move to contact a complete stranger rather than police, friends or family. I'm really glad you're still alive. Mainly because if you had emailed me as a ghost, I would have been terrified. I have always been very afraid of ghosts. One time I even thought I was a ghost... I found out several weeks later that I just had mono.

I am happy to tell you that I am actually a Hollywood movie producer - and I would like to make a movie about your experience. After all, your story has everything: England, mugging, and people getting hit in the neck. To spice it up, instead of England it would be set in the center of the earth, and you will get mugged by glowing lava-people. It will be called "Johnny Lung and the Magma Man Mugging." It will be like a combination of X-Men, Fraggle Rock, and a dream I had about a crazy world where horses ride people.

Please give me your personal information, and I will send you two plane tickets to Los Angeles. I'm thinking you could be the star of the film. Your email made you sound ruggedly handsome. If it turns out you're ugly, I will mock you - then hit you with a club in the neck and take all of your belongings. If you're good looking, I will buy you ice cream. Do you prefer soft serve? If not, I will hit you with a club in the neck and take all of your belongings.

In the meantime, we should probably tell the police. I have already created a line-up of potential suspects that I have attached to the email.

I can't wait to hear back from you. You're my new best friend... possibly more if things go well.

XOXO,

Douglas Bellows

Hollywood Producer/ Exotic Reptile Handler

RE: OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM THE FBI CALIFORNIA DEPT.

From: info@ic.fbi.gov
Subject: OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM THE FBI CALIFORNIA DEPT.
Date: Wed, 25 May 2011 16:30:03 -0700

FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

                                      

             OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION CALIFORNIA DEPT.

ATTENTION:

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). Through our intelligence monitoring network has discovered that your contract payment is legal. Recently the fund has been legally approved to be paid via Atm Card and delivered to you. So, we the Federal Bureau of Investigation California Dept, in conjunction with the United Nations (UN) financial department have investigated through our monitoring network noting that your this payment is legitimate.

You have the legitimate right to complete your transaction to claim your fund US$7,000,000.00 (Seven Million United States Dollars) Because of so much scam going on in Nigeria. We have contact the FedEx Courier Service Company in Nigeria for them to give us their procedures on how to send this money to you without any further complain or delay. We just got an information from the Central Bank of Nigeria and they have loaded your US$7,000,000.00 in ATM CARD and submit to the FedEx Courier Service Company for immediate delivery to your doorstep.

Get back to us for further proceedings.

Best Regards,

Agent Morris Cohen

Federal Bureau of Investigation

450 Golden Gate Avenue

13th Floor

San Francisco, CA 94102-9523

Phone: (415) 315 9458

 Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 4:52 PM
To: info@ic.fbi.gov
Subject: RE: OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM THE FBI CALIFORNIA DEPT.

Agent Cohen,

I'm not surprised you contacted me. I am excellent at the board game clue - and have always felt it would translate well to investigating real criminal activity. Although you didn't ask specifically, I can read between the lines and see that you are in fact offering me 7 million dollars to become a super-secret fbi agent. I will accept - but I will require my own custom badge. I have attached an illustration - please have your badge manufacturers get on this immediately.

Now - as for our problem with the Nigerians, I think I can handle it. I took some Tae-Bo classes nine years ago, and I think I still remember most of it. I will have to carry a boombox with me - I have trouble with the kicks without a beat. I would use earphones, but I have very small ear canals. I have to make my own q-tips. They consist mainly of pipe cleaners, glitter and elbow macaroni.

I was also a little concerned about working directly with the United Nations. I can't stand belgians - and I have heard belgians work at the UN. They're a bunch of waffle making freaks - and if they're involved, its a deal breaker. Assuming that won't be a problem, I will go rent a copy of Men in Black to mentally prepare myself for active duty.

Lastly, I like the name Morris. It makes me imagine you being very handsome. You probably even have a mustache, and if I kissed you on the mouth it would probably tickle. We probably shouldn't do that on the first day though, it might seem weird.

Can't wait to get started,

Agent Morris Douglasbellows

RE: Want to get together at the Starbucks in town ?

From: Rachael@findsweethookups.com
Subject: Want to get together at the Starbucks in town ?
Date: Tue, 17 May 2011 15:01:24 -0500

Hey, I thought maybe we could hook up? Want to get a coffee somewhere .. the Starbucks in town works for me. Let me know.

You can get hold of me here http://www.findsweethookups.com/profiles.php?id=426062&to=duhgee

Love Rachael

   

From: Doug Bellows
Sent: Tuesday, May 24, 2011 4:42 PM
To: 'Rachael@findsweethookups.com'
Subject: RE: Want to get together at the Starbucks in town ?

Rachel,

You bet your boots we can hook up. I don't like coffee, but maybe we could meet in my friend's basement instead. He has a bumper pool table. I'm really good. His mom also bought freeze pops. Perhaps you could eat one in a suggestive manner, and I could use my imagination.

I have to admit, its really nice to hear from you. I've been really desperate. A few weeks ago, I made love to my neighbor's mailbox. That might sound strange, but it was beautiful. The mailman hasn't delivered there since.

I hope it isn't too soon to say this - but I think we're soul mates Rachel. I feel confident we will be very happy together. I have a Nintendo Wii. It will help us stay in shape so we remain sexually attractive. I heard that playing the Wii too much can give you arm cancer, but as long as we go through arm chemotherapy together, I don't care. I would even hold your cancer hand.

Let me know when you want to come over. I will pre-soften the beanbag chair for you.

Love,

Dougie-pants

RE: best place

> Date: Fri, 13 May 2011 10:08:48 -0500
> From: Ibarra7Z@homeway.com.cn
> To: duhgee@hotmail.com
> Subject: best place
>
> Dear Dante!
> We provide you an answer.
> Not only men have problems with sexual activity.
> http://tevzaqusuyr.com/?9508
> --
> Leigh Johnson

Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 8:55 AM
To: Ibarra7Z@homeway.com.cn'
Subject: RE: best place

Leigh,

It's me... Dante. For years, I have been saying problems with sexual activity aren't my fault - thank you for your support. I think we both know, when it comes to the ladies - I am like a mystical centaur, carrying a bow of passion that fires flaming arrows of sensuality and lust and sometimes orgasms. But even the greatest archer can sometimes miss his mark - like if he gets arm cramps or something.

Please provide me with the answer that I (Dante) so deeply desire. In preparation, I have already stripped down and begun to rub oil all over my body. You don't have to be uncomfortable though - I am wearing a very stylish vest. It draws attention away from my private area (which I like to call my "skin sword"). I am also watching a Golden Girls marathon to get me in the mood.

Please send women - or at the very least, a few effeminate men - to my home immediately, so I may conquer them like a raccoon conquering a small trash can. I will pay any amount. After all - I am Dante and I am rich. I have my own helicopter.

Fondest wishes,

Dante Bellows

PS. Skin sword!

RE: Hi

From: zhangsharin [mailto:sharinzhang2009@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 17, 2011 5:57 PM
Subject: Hi

Hellooooo!

ISstill can't believe that!!! i made1like $43 usingBGoo0ogle :)))fhahahaha they really sent me the check today evening
that is the small amount but i had to work for like 2 hours & then i stopped... did not know they would really send me the money so fast :p

who says its a recession time period & no jobs lol ??? im making $$$ sitting home now ;p...

its so awesome!!! you can grab more info here.

From: Doug Bellows
Sent: Wednesday, May 18, 2011 8:47 AM
To: 'sharinzhang2009@hotmail.com'
Subject: RE: Hi

Wait - did you say 43 dollars? That's almost 50 dollars! I used to say its a recession time, but I won't do that anymore. Sometime I would say to another human "its a recession time" - and they would reply "I agree." Now if that happens, I will fill their mouth will shiny nickels, and we will both rejoice.

I can't believe I'm living in a world where people are sending out 43 dollar checks to people... for only two hours of work. When I first received this email, I thought I must be dreaming - so I looked to see what pajamas I was wearing. If I had been dreaming, my pajamas would probably made of fine animal pelts, with numerous tassels and beads... I would look like an angel. Instead, I was wearing regular pajamas - so I was filled with joy... also, shame because of my simple pajamas... but mostly joy because of the 43 dollars that I would soon enjoy.

Given this opportunity, I have already called my boss and informed him of my new career. He said "what are you going to do now?", and my response was "After I have intimate relations with your wife, I will use the g0oo0gle... i will get 43 dollars" - then I made a "cha-ching" sound, to indicate my impending wealth. I recorded this conversation - I will send you an mp3 file later.

Please give me the details of this exciting money making offer. I am an expert at using the Goooo0gle. Sometime, when we are having fun at the dancing clubs, my friends will call me "Goo0gle" as a nickname. This makes me angry, because I prefer to be referred to as "The Golden Hawk"... with my 43 dollars, I will obtain new friends. Many of them will be attractive women, who I will let hold my 43 dollars sometimes. I may just makes photocopies of the money for them to hold. This will fool them, because they will be attractive and not smart.

Please send me the awesome details as soon as you can,

I love you,

Professor Douglas Bellows

University of America

RE: Director Request

> CC:
> From: martineze@okeysiteone.info
> Subject: DIRECTOR REQUEST
> Date: Thu, 19 May 2011 10:17:01 -0700
>
> FROM: FINBANK PLC
> LAGOS - NIGERIA
>
> WE HAVE BEEN MANDATED BY THE PRESIDENCY OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA, THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA TO PAY ALL OUTSTANDING DEBTS TO CONTRACTORS ON BEHALF OF THE GOVERNMENT, THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE, THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA AND ALL OTHER COMMERCIAL BANKS THAT HAD THE MANDATE TO PAY FOREIGN CONTRACTORS IN THE PAST. THIS BECAME NECESSARY BECAUSE OF AMBIGUITIES THAT AROSE IN THE HANDLING OF PAYMENTS TO CONTRACTORS IN THE PAST.
>
> NOTE THAT YOUR TOTAL FUND WILL BE PAID TO YOU BY ATM CARD. YOUR ATM CARD FOR YOUR TOTAL CONTRACT VALUE OF $3.8M (THREE MILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) IS READY AND WILL BE SHIPPED TO YOU BY SPECIAL SHIPMENT. NOTE THAT WE HAVE A STANDARD WORKING AGREEMENT WITH AN INTERNATIONAL COURIER COMPANY TO DELIVER OUR ATM CARDS TO OUR CLIENTS ALL OVER THE WORLD.
>
> TREAT AS URGENT. ALSO, PLEASE RECONFIRM YOUR FULL ADDRESS FOR EASY DELIVERY OF YOUR ATM CARD. YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON TELEPHONE NUMBER: 2347037859104 AND EMAIL: operationsdepartmentfinintservic@yahoo.cn
> THANK YOU.
>
> MRS. SUZANNE IROCHE
> MANAGING DIRECTOR,
> FINBANK
> 

 Sent: Friday, May 20, 2011 9:17 AM
To: martineze@okeysiteone.info
Subject: RE: DIRECTOR REQUEST

Dear Mrs. Iroche,

I'm really looking forward to receiving my 3.8 million dollars. When I add that to my current net worth - I will be worth slightly more than 3.8 million dollars. This should finally help me get my rap career off the ground. I'm thinking of making a music video where I ride a jet-ski, then turn into a dolphin, then I jump over a bear that is swimming in the ocean, then I make love to a girl dolphin, then I spray grey goose out of my blow hole, then I fly (through the air) into a ferrari, then I drive for a while, then I drive home to see my human wife and half- dolphin children, then I notice that my childs dorsal fin is serrated, which obviously means that they are actually half-porpoise children. Realizing that my wife had cheated on me with a porpoise, I shoot a poisonous dart out of my blowhole, and she dies. Then some hoes come over. Its a metaphor for the public transit system in america.

 I used to be called "Li'l Snuggles." Thanks to my improved self-esteem, I'm thinking of making the change to "Poppa Snuggles." I briefly contemplated calling myself "The Sexual Hurricane" - but I felt it sounded a little too rapist-ish.  Let me know what you think.

Please send my ATM card as soon as possible. Below is my address:

America

I think the post office can take it from there.

I probably need to get it soon - I have already spent 2 million dollars. I just bought John Stamos' house on eBay. If he doesn't receive the money soon, he will give me negative feedback. He will also break my thumbs. . I need my thumbs for grasping things (pens, bananas, water bottles, small birds, etc.). I also enjoy giving thumbs up to people.... I'm giving you a thumbs up right now. I'm aiming directly at Nigeria. Given the speed a thumbs-up travels, you should be feeling it sometime tomorrow afternoon. If you're in southern Nigeria, you might not get it. I was aiming a little bit north.

Lastly, I'm going to be having a party this weekend. I just graduated with a degree in advanced bird studies. I don't like birds - but please don't tell my parents at my graduation party. Its going to be saturday night around 7. Please bring a dessert. Please note: I do not consider ice-cream cake to be cake - keep this in mind as you make your dessert choice. Also, bring my 3.8 million dollars - it will make me rich... that will show those birds.

See you Saturday,

Doug Bellows

Junior Bird Studyologist

BirdCo Inc.

RE: Registration Proclamation

(NOTE: for simplicity, the junk mail is in blue, and my replies are in black)
From: jack [mailto:jack@tz-nic.com]
Sent: Wednesday, May 11, 2011 8:50 PM
Subject: Registration Proclamation
Importance: High

(If you are not in charge of this please transfer this email to your President or appropriate person, thanks)

Dear President,

We are the department of Asian Domain registration service in china, have something to confirm with you. We formally received an application on  May 10, 2011. One company which self-styled "Kidcos Inc" were applying to register "globex" as Network Brand and following domain names:

globex.cn   
globex.co.in   
globex.com.cn   
globex.com.tw   
globex.hk   
globex.in   
globex.net.cn   
globex.org.cn   
globex.tw  

After our initial checking, we found the name were similar to your company's, so we need to check with you whether your company has authorized that company to register these names. If you authorized this, we will finish the registration at once. If you did not authorize, please let us know within 7 workdays, so that we will handle this issue better. Out of the time limit we will unconditionally finish the registration for "Kidcos Inc".

Best Regards,
                                   
Jack Hong

Registration Dept.

Tel: (+86) 028-85915586 || Fax: (+86) 028-85912116

Address:5/F,The East Building, No.4 HaiJiaoShi Street,JinJiang District,ChengDu.China

----- Original Message -----

From: Doug Bellows

To: jack

Date: 2011-05-12, 21:55:18

Subject: RE: Registration Proclamation

Mr. Hong,

Kidcos Inc is our arch rival. Those bastards!  They will stop at nothing to destroy our company. One time, they tried to burn down our headquarters - but we stopped them. This other time, they had a big party and didn't invite us. It made us very sad.

We must stop them from registering these domain names. The fate of Globex depends on it.

May the sun shine glowing beams of light through your eyes and into your soul - warming it like a bowl of hot soup,

Love,

Dr. Douglas Phinneas Bellows IV

President/Lead Zombie Scientist

Globex Inc.

From: jack [mailto:jack@tz-nic.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 7:58 PM
To: Doug Bellows
Subject: Re: RE: Registration Proclamation
Importance: High

Dear Sir,

we conclude that company "Kidcos Inc" is your emulant familiar with some information about your company, or "Kidcos Inc" is most likely to intend preempting registration of Domain names in advance, to use in unknown purpose in future.

Accordingly we suggest that to register these domain names by yourself is the best way of protecting intellectual property rights. if you need to register those domain names under your company name please contact us in time, then we'll help you to register and protect those domains.

Best Regards,

Jack Hong 

Tel :  +86-028-85915586 || Fax : +86-028-85912116

P Please consider the environment before you print this e-mail.

Mr. Hong,

At first, I agreed that we should quickly purchase those domain names before our smelly rival, Kidcos Inc, can get their tiny hands on them. Recently, on Facebook, Kidcos told one of their friends that Globex is a bunch of dorks. It hurt me, because they are obviously the ones that are dorks. OMG. Also, this other time, we were looking at pornography on our computer, and they totally walked in without knocking.

After careful thought, I got an idea: instead of buying the domain names, we should launch a ninja attack on them. We will pay you and your associates $40 each to storm their headquarters (which will henceforth be referred to as their fortress). We will also provide Globex branded ninja-outfits. You must provide any katana, swords or cross bows. We will provide nunchucks - but only the two ends. You must provide the chain/string that connects them. I would suggest attacking at dawn... or maybe a little later than dawn. You're going to want a good breakfast - their fortress is well protected. I heard they have a robotic pterodactyl that drowns its enemies with milkshakes. This may not sound bad - but the milkshakes are too thick and of poor quality.

If you agree to this plan, please look across the ocean and think of me. Our deep connection will allow me to telepathically know your answer.

Godspeed my friend. May your fingers be as fierce as tiny dragons,

Dr. Douglas Phinneas Bellows IV

President/Official SpokesModel

Globex Inc.