RE: OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM THE FBI CALIFORNIA DEPT.

From: info@ic.fbi.gov
Subject: OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM THE FBI CALIFORNIA DEPT.
Date: Wed, 25 May 2011 16:30:03 -0700

FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

                                      

             OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION CALIFORNIA DEPT.

ATTENTION:

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). Through our intelligence monitoring network has discovered that your contract payment is legal. Recently the fund has been legally approved to be paid via Atm Card and delivered to you. So, we the Federal Bureau of Investigation California Dept, in conjunction with the United Nations (UN) financial department have investigated through our monitoring network noting that your this payment is legitimate.

You have the legitimate right to complete your transaction to claim your fund US$7,000,000.00 (Seven Million United States Dollars) Because of so much scam going on in Nigeria. We have contact the FedEx Courier Service Company in Nigeria for them to give us their procedures on how to send this money to you without any further complain or delay. We just got an information from the Central Bank of Nigeria and they have loaded your US$7,000,000.00 in ATM CARD and submit to the FedEx Courier Service Company for immediate delivery to your doorstep.

Get back to us for further proceedings.

Best Regards,

Agent Morris Cohen

Federal Bureau of Investigation

450 Golden Gate Avenue

13th Floor

San Francisco, CA 94102-9523

Phone: (415) 315 9458

 Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 4:52 PM
To: info@ic.fbi.gov
Subject: RE: OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION FROM THE FBI CALIFORNIA DEPT.

Agent Cohen,

I'm not surprised you contacted me. I am excellent at the board game clue - and have always felt it would translate well to investigating real criminal activity. Although you didn't ask specifically, I can read between the lines and see that you are in fact offering me 7 million dollars to become a super-secret fbi agent. I will accept - but I will require my own custom badge. I have attached an illustration - please have your badge manufacturers get on this immediately.

Now - as for our problem with the Nigerians, I think I can handle it. I took some Tae-Bo classes nine years ago, and I think I still remember most of it. I will have to carry a boombox with me - I have trouble with the kicks without a beat. I would use earphones, but I have very small ear canals. I have to make my own q-tips. They consist mainly of pipe cleaners, glitter and elbow macaroni.

I was also a little concerned about working directly with the United Nations. I can't stand belgians - and I have heard belgians work at the UN. They're a bunch of waffle making freaks - and if they're involved, its a deal breaker. Assuming that won't be a problem, I will go rent a copy of Men in Black to mentally prepare myself for active duty.

Lastly, I like the name Morris. It makes me imagine you being very handsome. You probably even have a mustache, and if I kissed you on the mouth it would probably tickle. We probably shouldn't do that on the first day though, it might seem weird.

Can't wait to get started,

Agent Morris Douglasbellows